Posts Tagged ‘candy’

Reinjuring Myself. 3-11-11

I just destroyed my elbow trying to break open a large twist lollipop; the kind you get at Disneyland.  This delicious grape lollipop is too hard to risk breaking my teeth on, so I crack it apart with my hands before throwing  it in my mouth.  I’ve broken down plenty of these in the last few weeks and I’m good at it.

Problem is, I just destroyed my elbow while trying to save my teeth.  The elbow has been bothering me for a week now and was starting to get better until I just fought with, and lost my battle with the lollipop.   On the scales of epicurean pleasure, the throbbing pain in my elbow and my rapidly swelling arm isn’t worth the candy I just shoved in my mouth.  I now own this bit of wisdom.

I stopped working out after I wrote on how great I was beginning to feel a few weeks back, so the elbow injury wasn’t from working out.   If my wife knew that I injured my elbow by breaking candy into small easily scarfable pieces, she would break my other elbow.

It is funny how much candy eating goes on without her knowing about it.  None the less, the wife would still break me like a lollipop if she knew how much candy I was eating.

A Joy 3-10-11

I consider myself a world class candy connoisseur.  As such and as a member of the Fat and Sloppy Nation I’m duty bound to sample the new candies that come on the market.  This is something I do for humanity – I like to think.  Happy times come when I wander around and find a new type of candy.  It makes me feel like Columbus discovering America.

I have two type of candy favorites.  They are the colorful and jelly type.  A week back, while at a convention in Las Vegas, I found a new candy and have fallen in love with it in my mouth.  It is called Joys.  Joys is a candy bar with a red semi-solid jello filling covered with a thin layer of dark chocolate. The center has a fruity sort of raspberry taste and a perfect not too hard, not too soft consistency; its just right.  It comes dressed in a yellow wrapper.

I find true happiness when I eat them. For a brief few seconds, when its me and this raspberry covered chocolate bar, all my other senses step aside in honor of my mouth. Only the mouth exists. Worries disappear, time stops, the eighty-five bucks I just spent on nearly 100 candy bars doesn’t matter; I am transported to taste bud paradise.

I felt greedy, but I bought every Joy the store put out for public purchase.  I had to hide my stash from my family.  They don’t want me eating so much candy (what do they know?) and want to prevent me from enjoying my Joys.  I have been eating five of these candy bars a day.  I could eat more, but I don’t.  I like to consider myself a person with good self control.

On a side note, but possibly related to the Joy story, I almost fell off my chair onto the floor yesterday while I was tieing my shoe at work.  I couldn’t reach over my stomach and I lost my balance trying to reach for my shoe.