Posts Tagged ‘disneyland’

I’m so smart I’m stupid.

My wife wants to sell our house and move.  Her parents (and mine) don’t like climbing the 17 steep front steps and they won’t visit us anymore.  There is no talking her out of the move and anyway, she’s already packed up half the house because the real estate agent told her to.  While this was happening,  I did my part by hoping she would get over her idea of moving and I got a moving company to estimate the cost of our move.   The moving company pegged the total cost at over $6,000.00;  I immediately looked for a cheaper way to move.

Being the clever person that I am, and I have a crew of painters who can help out, I figured I personally could do the move for less. So, I rented a U-haul, had one of my employees bring it to our house, and loaded the boxes and furniture with my crew of painters.   I glowed all day with the inner radiance a genius gets when he saves a pile of money by doing something himself.

It took most of the day to load the truck with a small portion of our stuff. Read more…

Man Entertainment: The National Hardware Show 5-2-11

Every year Las Vegas hosts the National Hardware Show.  Every single thing a man going to a hardware store could ever want to buy is displayed at this show.  

It’s pure man entertainment.  A Disneyland for middle aged men.  I get to talk like a tool using big shot.  There is every tool and product offering to discuss with other guys who are total although total strangers share a common chromosome that makes us enjoy talking about tools.  But, as soon as someone at a booth bores me, I’m off to the next interesting booth to talk like a big shot about a different tool or product again. 

I’ve been a tool enjoying man for over 25 years and it just feels good to walk these shows.  More than that, there are visual delights for as far as I can see; free samples, product demonstrations and so many tools to try.  

My inner scavenger loves the last day of the show because the show vendors give away lots of free stuff (screw drivers, duct tape, caulking, house keys, slim jims, elmer’s glue etc.) that they don’t want to pack up and ship back to their offices.

Every year I leave the show with bags of loot. I bring them home to show my wife like I’m a conquering hero.  She quickly looks at my bags but never cares about my triumph, but that never stops me from loading my bags with loot each and every convention. 

The free ticket link is on the following page and is item #4:

http://www.all-about-house-painting.com/Local_and_national_paint_news.php

Reinjuring Myself. 3-11-11

I just destroyed my elbow trying to break open a large twist lollipop; the kind you get at Disneyland.  This delicious grape lollipop is too hard to risk breaking my teeth on, so I crack it apart with my hands before throwing  it in my mouth.  I’ve broken down plenty of these in the last few weeks and I’m good at it.

Problem is, I just destroyed my elbow while trying to save my teeth.  The elbow has been bothering me for a week now and was starting to get better until I just fought with, and lost my battle with the lollipop.   On the scales of epicurean pleasure, the throbbing pain in my elbow and my rapidly swelling arm isn’t worth the candy I just shoved in my mouth.  I now own this bit of wisdom.

I stopped working out after I wrote on how great I was beginning to feel a few weeks back, so the elbow injury wasn’t from working out.   If my wife knew that I injured my elbow by breaking candy into small easily scarfable pieces, she would break my other elbow.

It is funny how much candy eating goes on without her knowing about it.  None the less, the wife would still break me like a lollipop if she knew how much candy I was eating.