There is a critical but rarely discussed problem in America: \u00a0Public toilets.\u00a0\u00a0 As a kid, I don’t remember public bathrooms being so deplorable, but\u00a0now, I’m afraid to use them.\u00a0 Public toilets were supposed to\u00a0represent a high point in hygiene and convenience; a mark of civilization,\u00a0but they have now become the most disgusting places in America.<\/p>\n
I believe\u00a0what is happening to public bathrooms is\u00a0analogous to what is happening to\u00a0America. \u00a0They let everyone in to do whatever they want without regard for the next person. \u00a0People just don’t think about others anymore.\u00a0\u00a0To me, public toilets are a barometer of how we are doing as a republic.<\/p>\n
Public toilets were\u00a0first used in Ancient Babylon and, I would venture, were cleaner than those in America today. In gas stations,\u00a0Las Vegas casinos, airplanes,\u00a0McDonalds\u00a0and most other fast food restaurants\u00a0for example, I’ve seen all sorts of things dripped and smeared on the seats, bowl, floor, stalls, sinks, walls and ceilings. \u00a0It’s almost always an adult version carnival horror show behind the men’s room door. \u00a0What incurable disease lurks on those surfaces? \u00a0It is rare that I’ll\u00a0ever find\u00a0a clean public bathroom.<\/p>\n
I’ll do\u00a0practically anything\u00a0to avoid\u00a0going into a public bathroom to poop, because after looking at the toilets, barfing is the first thing that comes to my mind. \u00a0Trying not to breathe, disinfecting myself, and hoping that my clothes don’t touch anything are my only thoughts. \u00a0Moreover, I’m amazed to see others\u00a0walk\u00a0in and sit down\u00a0right over a uncleaned toilet seat.\u00a0\u00a0Who are these people that this is normal for them?<\/p>\n
If I’m out of the house, and\u00a0I have to\u00a0go\u00a0so bad\u00a0that a public toilet is my only option, I have a\u00a0protocol for cleaning\u00a0the seat\u00a0before I\u00a0use it that\u00a0I call “dressing the toilet.”\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0This\u00a0cleaning procedure\u00a0costs me precious painful valuable minutes cleaning the impossible with a packed colon, but it has to be done.\u00a0 I\u00a0grab a wet paper towel and clean off the seat and the area of the bowl that\u00a0the seat doesn’t cover.\u00a0 Then I dry the seat.\u00a0 After that I go for the toilet seat covers; hopefully they have them. \u00a0I always use two of them. \u00a0If not, I have to tear toilet paper\u00a0and shape it\u00a0to cover the\u00a0seat.<\/p>\n
By this point my\u00a0butt is ready to explode.\u00a0 I don’t have any time left but I still have to struggle with un-perforating the toilet seat cover.\u00a0 What purpose does the toilet seat cover tongue serve?\u00a0\u00a0 Why is this thing perforated?\u00a0 If\u00a0I don’t remove the tongue and set the cover down just right, the seat cover slips into the water.\u00a0 The time it takes to flatten out the folded seat cover tongue often coinsides with the last seconds my sphincter can hold its load.<\/p>\n
Once the toilet is ready for me, I carefully\u00a0roll down my pants,\u00a0making sure\u00a0not to let my pants touch the toilet, stall walls,\u00a0or the floor. \u00a0After that, I’m able to use a public bathroom.\u00a0 When I finish, I make sure to flush.\u00a0 And I always leave the bathroom cleaner and better than when I got there.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
There is a critical but rarely discussed problem in America: \u00a0Public toilets.\u00a0\u00a0 As a kid, I don’t remember public bathrooms being so deplorable, but\u00a0now, I’m afraid to use them.\u00a0 Public toilets were supposed to\u00a0represent a high point in hygiene and convenience; a mark of civilization,\u00a0but they have now become the most disgusting places in America. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[150,154,149,155,153,148,151,157,82,152,156],"class_list":["post-519","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-theamericanmale","tag-airplane","tag-ancient-babylon","tag-casino","tag-fast-food-restaurant","tag-hygiene","tag-las-vegas","tag-mcdonalds","tag-mens-bathroom","tag-public-toilets","tag-toilet-paper","tag-toilet-seat-covers"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatandsloppy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/519","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatandsloppy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatandsloppy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatandsloppy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatandsloppy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=519"}],"version-history":[{"count":36,"href":"https:\/\/fatandsloppy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/519\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":764,"href":"https:\/\/fatandsloppy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/519\/revisions\/764"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatandsloppy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=519"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatandsloppy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=519"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatandsloppy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=519"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}